Midnight Blue by L J Shen
British Rock Star Alex Winslow is fresh-out-of-rehab and ready to fall right back into his wild lifestyle that might end up killing him.
With a three months World tour coming up, he needs help to stay clean and sober.
Problem is…he doesn’t want help.
His management team has no choice left but to find him a “baby-sitter” and that’s how Indigo Bellamy enters his life.
Indigo knows she’ll get burned but she needs the money.
Alex knows he’ll end up destroying his new baby-sitter but one look and he can’t help being captivated.
Things will get messy very very fast.
I offered New Girl my hand. I was six something. She was five nothing. She was practically at eye level with my crotch, which would have been very convenient if it wasn’t for the fact I wanted nothing to do with her.
A rocker without a soul, a broken man, an addict.
A blue-haired girl, resilient and good to the core.
The journey that will change both their lives.
I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t see you as a charity case. I thought it was sad that you were an orphan, but no sadder than how I’d lived my life without a family. In my mind, we were two asteroids orbiting around each other. I thought I was the sun and you were earth, but now I see I got it all mixed up. You were always the sun. And even now, when I look at you, I don’t see regret and pain and suffering. I see the biggest opportunity, the sweetest promise, the road I should be taking.”
I had a very bad experience with a previous book from this author titled “Vicious” but this book SOMEHOW worked for me even if it’s full of triggers and drama I do not enjoy.
I knew my cocaine and drinking habit was in full swing, but I had a bigger issue to tackle—win the girl.
Everything else—the drugs, the alcohol, the addiction, would be sorted out afterward. Love conquers all, and all that jazz.
I can confirm I’m not a superfan of this author’s “heros”.
My reluctance to share was, among other reasons, what branded me as a disreputable arsehole in the media. To say I didn’t give two shits was an insult to said shits.
Alex Winslow? Prince charming HE’S NOT.
Fuck my manager, Blake, and my agent, Jenna, and my life, sideways scissors-style, for making me leave my room, my sanctuary, my personal space. And fuck Elsa, who now knew my true colors—fifty shades of dick.
He’s selfish, bitter, angry, cruel and every shades of asshole for waaay too long.
For half of the book he clings to the ghost of his ex Fallon and throws it at Indie’s face whenever it suits him.
The heroine, Indie, knows exactly what she’s getting into with Alex right from the start.
For the first time in a long time, I knew I was in deep trouble.
Something I couldn’t control.
Because Alex Winslow was a broken vase.
But I wasn’t the glue. I was the stupid cleaner who was about to try to pick up the pieces and, inevitably, get cut.
She’s conflicted but she cannot resist his “bad broken boy charms”.
“I said you’re a pushover. You did what I told you to do, never fighting back, never saving face.”
“Saving face?” I blinked rapidly, trying hard not to scream in his face.
This. Man. “I don’t need to save any face.
You wanted me to hook you up. I did.
You’re just disappointed I didn’t fight over you. But guess what? I’m not them. The fangirls. The women with stars in the eyes. When I look at you?”
I took a step toward him, and he took a step forward, too, and it was all too wrong and too close and too intimate all at once.
“When I look at you, I see something broken that isn’t worth fixing. And you look at me like I’m a cheap thing to replace the expensive one that’s been stolen from you. See, we’re all vases. And you’re the one scattered on the floor, shattered beyond repair. So I’ll let someone else pick you up. It’s really that simple. Have fun with your temporary glue.”
I’m never comfortable with the main lead of a book frolicking with a “third party” when the other main lead is already significant in his life. NEVER.
Even if he doesn’t actually have sex with the groupie and his aim is to catch Indie’s “attention” making her jealous.
Here Alex’s thoughts make it worse with his childish and cruel reasoning:
I smiled into my kiss with what’s-her-face. My tool, my container, my bait. My prop for this lesson.
Finally, Stardust was beginning to get it.
We were going to fuck.
The kind of broken man Alex is most of the book is not worthy of Indie.
She’s sickly attracted to him and his awful “rockstar persona” but she knows exactly he’s not the kind of man she wants by her side.
So…I was not exactly comfortable with this whole scenario but it made sense for this kind of plot.
He’s a broken man and all the awful things about him scream WRONG to Indie even if the good things she glimpse through the cracks whisper he’s redeemable.
It’s the classic “bad boy attracts good girl” scenario.
Everyone wants a piece of him..
My knob was community property at this point. Every willing body that wasn’t a fan or underage got a free ride and a complimentary selfie.
And he’s not used to be put in his place..
“it’s none of your business how many penises I’ve seen, or how many men I’ve slept with. If I like to be hung by my nipples from the ceiling or spooned by a gentle lover while cuddling a teddy bear, it’s not for you to know.
He’s fascinated with Indigo and can’t stop himself from trying to make her his
“I found my well in the middle of the desert,” he said from the threshold of my open door. “Now it’s time to drink from it. Every. Single. Drop.”
I’m still asking myself how I ended up enjoying his messy story!
I think I was in the mood for a well written angsty read and there’s LOSTS OF ANGST in this book.
I plucked the notepad and Sharpie out of Tania’s case and stared up at my muse, waiting for her to feed me spoonfuls of her soul.
Knowing I didn’t deserve her.
Knowing she didn’t deserve this.
Knowing how fucked everything was, but not being able to stop, because I wanted revenge, and an album, and solace. And Indie? She would get her money—hell, I might even throw in a couple more hundred grand to sweeten the deal for her—and I’d be to her what I was to so many others. A good story to tell her mates when she was piss-drunk at a hen party. I fucked a rock star once, and it was great.
I enjoy stories with redeemable assholes but I have issues with Dickheads that take assholery to a whole new level. Alex got real close to that level for far too long but his issues felt real and he ends up redeeming himself at the very end.
And I will do anything for you, not because you’re my muse or my salvation or my best lay, but because you’re inside me, like an organ, like a vital thing I cannot function without. I don’t even want you at this point. I need you. It’s different, and carnal, and completely necessary for my existence.
As you might have noticed I put A LOT of quotes in this review but I highlighted even more!
I mean, the writing is great and that’s probably the main thing that kept me engaged all the way to the end.
Considering the good and the bad, overall this was a ⭐3 stars ⭐ read for me.
~ My Ratings ~
Writing: 3.5 /5
Plot: 3 /5
Hero: 2.5 /5 He’s 27 and a selfish asshole rockstar that lost his soul “living the life”
Heroine: 3 /5 She’s 21 and can’t resist his “bad boy charm”. She falls in love with him knowing exactly she’ll end up hurt and does it anyway but she grows balls when needed.
Secondary Characters: 3 /5
MC’s chemistry: 3 /5
Steam: 3.5 /5
Triggers: hero is an asshole and an addict. His thoughts and behavior toward the heroine are maddening 80% of the book because he knows his selfishness will hurt her and does whatever he wants anyway. Coarse Language, he gets phisical with lots of OWs (not actual sex) and OW drama ( his ex gf).
Recommended to: Contemporary Romance Readers looking for lots of angst and Rock & Roll
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